In the age of digital assistants, chatbots, and generative AI, we’ve all had the occasional encounter with a machine that seems almost human—until it inevitably messes up your grocery list or misinterprets your sarcasm. But here’s a question you might not have considered: should we treat these non-sentient entities with the same manners we use for people? Should we say “please” when asking a chatbot to summarize an article? And, for that matter, should we thank it when it gets it right?
It might sound a little silly at first—after all, AI doesn’t have feelings, right? But according to Microsoft’s Kurtis Beavers, a director on the Copilot design team, the way we interact with AI can actually shape the quality of the responses we get. In short, good manners might pay off—even if your chatbot isn’t going to send you a thank-you note.
The Case for Politeness: It’s Just Good Etiquette
As humans, we’re naturally inclined to be polite. We say “please” when making a request, “thank you” when someone helps us, and maybe even throw in a “how was your day?” at the barista. It’s part of our social fabric. So, when interacting with AI, it only feels right to use these same pleasantries, even though we know our chatbot isn’t likely to feel appreciated. But there’s more to it than just making polite conversation.
Beavers notes that polite language can influence the tone of AI’s responses. When you phrase a request respectfully, the AI is more likely to mirror that tone. It’s not because the system has a sense of empathy (it doesn’t), but because AI is designed to learn from human interactions. Just as we’d expect a more professional response from someone we treat with respect, the same principle applies to AI. The difference is, AI is happy to comply without needing a thank-you card afterward.
Professionalism and Clarity: The AI Response Formula
Here’s the thing: AI isn’t a mind reader. It doesn’t feel your frustration when you type a terse, “Give me the sales report.” But if you ask, “Could you please summarize the sales report for me?” you’re likely to get a more polished response. That’s because AI is trained to interpret language based on patterns, and clear, respectful prompts are simply more likely to trigger a more thorough, well-organized answer. So, while you won’t offend your AI with a gruff tone, the quality of your interaction could take a hit.
On the flip side, overly casual or vague requests might lead to responses that feel rushed or underdeveloped. AI works best when you set clear expectations, which is why politeness, while not a requirement, tends to improve the clarity and professionalism of the responses.
But Does AI Actually Care?
You might be thinking, “But does AI even care if I say ‘thank you’?” Short answer: no, not really. AI doesn’t have feelings, and it certainly doesn’t need affirmation. So why bother? Some researchers argue that anthropomorphizing AI—treating it like it has human qualities—is problematic. AI doesn’t “understand” gratitude or respect the way a person would, and overdoing it could be seen as unnecessary.
Professor Enrique Dans points out that AI systems don’t have perceptions or emotions. So while saying “please” doesn’t hurt, it doesn’t have any tangible effect on the AI’s performance. However, as we’ll see, it could affect you.
The Magic Words: “Please” and “Thank You” in Action
While saying “please” to a chatbot may not invoke a sense of gratitude in return, there is evidence that it can improve the quality of AI’s responses. A study by Waseda University and RIKEN Center found that polite prompts tend to produce higher-quality answers from AI models. The explanation? AI pulls from vast amounts of human conversation data, and the more polite the input, the more likely the model is to retrieve answers associated with professional, courteous interactions.
But don’t go overboard. Overly flattering or overly polite requests—“Please, gracious AI, enlighten me with your infinite wisdom!”—might be a step too far. A moderate level of politeness seems to strike the right balance, much like you would with any human professional.
The Future of AI: Politeness for the Future?
Now, if you’re thinking, “I’ll be polite to AI just in case it turns into a future overlord,” you’re not alone. There’s a joke that goes around about treating AI nicely, in case it develops feelings and decides to take revenge in a post-apocalyptic world. While this might sound like the premise of a sci-fi movie, there’s little evidence to suggest that AI is plotting a hostile takeover anytime soon.
However, some argue that being polite to AI isn’t just about avoiding a future uprising—it’s also about avoiding the desensitization that comes with talking to machines like they’re nothing more than tools. The way we interact with AI could influence the way we communicate with each other. After all, we wouldn’t want to be caught barking orders at our fellow humans the way we sometimes bark at Alexa or Siri.
Politeness and Our Humanity: Why It Matters
The real value in being polite to AI might have less to do with the AI and more to do with us. As MIT’s Sherry Turkle suggests, the habits we form in our interactions with machines can carry over into our real-life relationships. If we start treating AI with disrespect, we might find ourselves being less considerate with people, too.
So, while AI might not care if you say “please” or “thank you,” practicing politeness toward it can keep you in the habit of treating others with respect. This is especially important in an age where AI is becoming increasingly integrated into our daily lives. Think about it: If your children are growing up with AI assistants, you want to make sure they’re learning to communicate thoughtfully—not just to get better results from Siri, but to be kinder to everyone else as well.
The Verdict: Should You Say “Please” and “Thank You” to AI?
So, should you say “please” and “thank you” to AI? The short answer is: It can’t hurt. Being polite might improve the quality of AI’s responses, but more importantly, it’s a good practice for maintaining civility in your everyday communication. It might seem like a small thing, but if our interactions with AI shape the way we engage with each other, keeping a little courtesy in our digital exchanges is probably a good idea.
And if the AI takeover does eventually happen? Well, at least you’ll have treated your future overlords with respect—just in case.
